philip… I never asked you…

“Philip… I never asked you to do anything for me… all I ever wanted was a relationship with you.”    that is one on one… just me and Him…and it is just you and Him as well… one by one…  He is adding sons…  many sons  in One Son…  and He does it… not me.
I can run around like crazy trying to  do things  for God… I can throw  “handfuls with toil and chasing after the wind” and  nothing happens... because all He wants is me… not my  working… going…. doing… laboring…  
When I simply let  Him be who He is and live His life in me… all He has to do is take one handful… and He accomplishes what He wants… as I remain simply who I am… where He has placed me.
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I am now in my tiny little world in Shadow Lake… being who I am… right there… in our little cottage…weighed in at 199 the last 2 days in a row… major progress on sleeping at night… and getting some energy back.  Looking forward to what He puts on my plate tomorrow.    🙂
Oh… yes… and He is making it clearer and clearer… that the things and people He sends to me are  one at a time...  everything is  one on one with others  ... just like it is with me and Him.
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small worlds….

Did you know that  small worlds  are  wonderful  worlds… ?  It goes against everything the  systems  of this world have ever taught us.  Doesn’t matter which system…. they are all the same….  economic systems… religious systems…. political systems…. cultural systems… my way…. your way… the highway…  it  is the cry of the natural man… bigger is always better

Funny… God never said that… try googling this some time   “smaller is better in scripture”    ….  amazing stuff….. I was asking the Lord about the whole subject as my world has gotten so much smaller and smaller with each passing day…  He responded to me today.   I was stunned.

What He  showed me  today is not what’s important… I am not trying to prove anything to anyone…  I am simply telling one of my stories.  I am experiencing some of the most moving things I have ever experienced.. each day… especially today….  I am totally humbled.  My world is so much bigger than I ever imagined… all as I continue to just be….  who I am  –  where I am.…   🙂

“And what does the LORD require of you, Philp?”    “To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.”


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the eagle has landed… :)

We were unpacking up here at Shadow Lake by 9:00am this morning… the next step has been taken… the especially  good news  is that my plan to take my meds at night… just before shutting down for the evening…. seems to be working.  I tried to  isolate  which ones were making me drowsy… but looks like they all had a part in it… so… I now take everything at night… they knock me out… while my water pill gets me up almost hourly to get rid of the water… then I immediately go back to sleep for another hour… and my weight held over night… still at 200 lbs.

Sleeping at night instead of during the day…. has resulted in Philip being awake most of the day today and even being able to help with the packing and unpacking this morning… hooking up electronics and phones… making my own lunch… a pretty good feeling after needing ellen to  wait on me  hand and foot all the time. Tomorrow I get a visit from Home Health up here in Orleans County… and get set up with them here at Shadow Lake….

Bad news  was that…. in spite of my increased efforts to put up my legs… both legs are still way too swollen with water…  so that is the  next focus… more time with my legs up.  That was a surprise this morning after all the water weight loss.

The  ugly news  was to discover an open wound on my left leg, so we got on that right away and it is all wrapped up…  waiting now for Home health to take a look tomorrow… That is how the leg gets  infected  and Philip ends up back in the hospital again with  cellulitis…  no thank you…   🙂

Hoping to touch base with my brother tomorrow….  and… ellen has a long drive to Burlington for a post-op visit on her now  cataract free  eye….

Keep on keepin’ on….   🙂


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quick note… :)

Just a quick little note tonight… I had decided to take this final day here in Morrisville  off...  even though I have started a little experiment in  when  to take my  meds …  an experiment that resulted in losing 4 lbs over night last night… yessssss!!!  Back down to 200 lbs again.

Phase II of the  “experiment”  is coming up shortly… I’ll let you know how it all sugars down tomorrow.

Leaving here right after breakfast in the morning… looking forward to seeing my baby brother at the Lake tomorrow… he is coming to his place on Shadow Lake to celebrate his 70th with family and friends… going to be a great week… !!!

Nice way to begin this next step along the  path…   🙂    Everything else is beyond quiet… hoping to hear a little noise  sooner  rather than later…


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one more day…

I have been thinking about how tomorrow (Sunday) will be my very  last day  here in what has been our home the past  22 years.  Hmmmm…  22 years….  that’s a long time…. more than double the time I’ve lived anywhere in my life…  yet…. it seems it should be more difficult than it is… but it isn’t… instead I am looking forward to Monday morning and pulling out of the drive way… to set my feet on His path for the next steps  in our  great adventure….

That path starts up at  Shadow Lake  on Monday and will be taking us down to  Wenham, MA  sometime before mid-October.  Our plan is to continue to simply be  who we are   where we are   taking it one day at a time… dealing with whatever it is that  He puts  on our plates each day… we call it the   simple life…..  the  great adventure…

Lots of  loose ends  around here right now… I will try to fill you in each day as the dust settles.  It is what it is and will be what it will be   all by His marvelous grace… and wonderful predetermined plan.


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the flip side…

I mentioned the  flip side  of this  circumstances coin  yesterday… I am not talking about  “God is on my side so I win all the time and He does everything I want Him to do for me”…  What I  am  talking about is:   “His demonstration of His love for us” …  by allowing circumstances into our lives to show that He has everything under His control … then telling me….  “I  could  do this thing…  but I am  not  going to do it…  I have  another plan  for your life, Philip”….  

It is still a  demonstration  of His love for me and all part of Philip’s growth… learning to  trust Him  regardless of the circumstances,… and the constant building of a deeper and deeper relationship with each other.

I have had many more failures than successes in my 82 years… always learned great things out of my failures… only got more arrogant from my successes… It is just how it is…  I have learned to embrace it… and walk in it…  🙂

Had another wild day today…. lots of repeat kind of stuff as the ball keeps bouncing up and down….   Hoping to have more to report tomorrow.


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it is His love….


What I wrote about earlier today… I have seen this over and over again, during these past 50 years….  “The important thing here, for us, is not whether or not they buy the house… the important thing here is His demonstration of His love for us, once again, by sending in this assurance that He has everything under control and reminding us just how easily and quickly He can change the circumstances…”

Sometimes He does move swiftly in a positive way… for instance… back in 1986… when  God wrote Ichabod  over my  Perfect Church System  (meaning the glory of God had departed… nothing remained).. we were suddenly without income, with a very expensive home, large mortgage and very large monthly expenses… (eg: electric bill was $2000 mo. during the winter)

We immediately listed with a realtor, the sign went up and we wondered if we would be able to sell before foreclosure… the next day…  a man shows up at the door… he was on his way to see another property… made a wrong turn…  saw our for-sale sign… looked at the house and drove right up our driveway… then rang the bell.  We closed in 30 days.

I do enjoy winning more than losing…   🙂     even if they are both imposters….   🙂

There is a flip side to this coin though… I’ve had many of those  other  experiences… works the same way…. results are different…  on the ‘morrow…



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