philip's musings

After my little  day off  yesterday,  I thought I would be  back at it  today…  instead I found myself in the  prone position  just  resting and resting… sometimes  even going off into a deep sleep.  Then… yet another surprise… this person named Ellen that God put into my life  50 years ago… the lady who then said  yes  when I proposed to her… this lady who has become  my best friend  in all the world… this lady went totally  out there  today…

While I was sleeping, she went out and bought me the  identical Lazy Boy  to the one she got me for the Lake.  She knew I was not sleeping well, getting some back issues and just wanted to bless me.   Voila!!!

I fell asleep immediately and was in la-la land for 2 hours…  I am enjoying getting acquainted with my new chair.  Ellen’s plan was to give me a place to sleep here in Morrisville without having to haul myself up and down the stairs…. (the sofa just wasn’t doing it)…  then… when we actually move…. this chair will go down to Wenham with us.

Looking forward to becoming  good friends  with my new chair… and…  staying thankful for my  best friend , Ellen,  that the Lord put into my life, so many years ago.

🙂

Like everything else that religion does to  complicate  really simple things…prayer is up there near the top of the list.  Philip would like to try once again to  simplify… this time it is our understanding of  prayer...  Prayer is simply me talking to my Father... and I need to talk to Him.  Prayer is not  to  get things… not to get  what I want   from God… or persuade Him to give me what I want or do what I want Him to do…. none of that stuff.  It is simply having a conversation with my Dad about anything I want to talk to Him about… and it all comes out of my  relationship with Him.

It is based on my   understanding  that He is, in fact,  in absolute control of everything… it is also based on my knowing He  absolutely loves me  to pieces… and that He has a  plan  for my life… He is taking me somewhere…

Within our relationship I am free to tell Him whatever I want to… like… I really hate the huffy/puffys… maybe you could touch me so I can breathe again… isn’t 3 trips to the hospital enough for one year.. what do you want me to see in all this….  we just talk …  that’s what Jesus did… talked to His Father… all the time…

 “Father, if you are willing…. remove this cup from me….  Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done.”     What Jesus wants is Father’s will.  What Philip wants is Father’s will. That is the bottom line…. I may not enjoy what is going on… and I am free to express my   druthers  to Him but… bottom line… I want what He wants.

Jesus taught His disciples how to pray… remember?…. “…Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven…..”   Really… this is not rocket science…  so simple..

What a way to live..

🙂

I really tried to do this… you know… what I said yesterday…  “I decided to try to just break the habit and re-train my sleep cycles”… you have already seen my title for this posting...  it didn’t work…  The Lord has not intervened… so… it hasn’t happened. There are a whole bunch of things that we have asked Him to  intervene on.… like… my health… my sleep issues…. especially my breathing… my energy… and my system adapting to the two new medications.  But they have  not happened… yet.    🙂

Another big one of course is the  sale of our house… especially since we get closer and closer to our  shutdown  on August 15th.  When the guests that are in the house now, leave on Wednesday … we have  no one  checking in again until 8/2… and Philip will only have to cook breakfast  6 more times.  So we are  praying that He intervenes  and wraps something up soon…   🙂

I can’t tell you how often I abused people in my care by quoting this one from James’ letter at them…   “You do not have because you do not ask God. 3When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.”    I am so thankful for His forgiveness and His revelation.  Although both these things  can  be true…. the truth is … that they are never true in the lives of folks who are following Jesus and want what He wants… and we are never asking with wrong motives for the very same reason.

Followers are  always  asking Him for everything… it is what we do best.  He doesn’t  give us everything we think we want because  He has a plan… and usually it is  different  than Philip’s plan. This time around is no different… and… He will show me what it is all about  whenever He is ready  to do that,… and that is just fine with Philip.

Boy… there is sure a lot more I could say about this area….  hmmmmm….

🙂

It was great to be back at home… back with Ellen… back in our own bed… the only negative thing was the silly sleep patterns that have been established with all the trips upstairs to put my feet up.  I have talked about this new lifestyle before… 2 hours rest and then 2/3 hours eat/work… all day… all night…. which, this morning,  left me wide awake at 5:00am and no choice but to get up and get started to serve our 8:30 breakfast… it would not work to go back upstairs to rest again at 7:00/8:00… since that is the serious prep and serving time,

Decided to try to just break the habit and re-train my sleep cycles…  grind it out and just maybe take one nap during the day.  Sounded like a good plan… except I went from there into one of the weirdest physical days I’ve had so far… finding myself drowsy… dizzy… light-headed… tired… achey… and coughing. Ellen is concerned.  “What’s wrong?” she asks.  So I tell her.

A few minutes later she calls me and has me sit down in the kitchen.  She then reads me the list of possible side affects from my 2 new medications,  It was hilarious… each of the two meds had the identical list that I just wrote out above…   🙂

These theoretically should be disappearing as my body adjusts to the new medications.  We shall see.  We all know that it is never over… until it is over.

🙂

a full morning of tests… blood drawn early for a workup… vitals all checked… headed downstairs for machine tests in a wheelchair… laying quietly on a board moving slowly in and out of a cylinder…  laying motionless with a huge bonnet rotating slowly inches above my nose that is taking  “pictures”….. new oral medications… also a variety of liquids entering a port in the top of my right hand… meeting with my cardiac doctor…  taking his stress test…  actually thought the morning would never end… especially with his words that he would like me to stay another night while he evaluated all the tests and tied them together…

I did make a few noises about the stay-over…  🙂   the doctor said he would hold on his decision until Ellen and I met with the nutritionist… (although I think the  essential  in that was that Ellen had to be there)…   🙂     He also said he would be meeting with Dr.Kiely and they would let us know.

Had a great chat with Kiely… learned many things… got released…  blessed and thankful to be back home now… once again learning to live in another whole different way…  “in so far as it depends upon me, I will… learn to live differently…”      we are so thankful for everything that He has done for us during all this… 🙂

I used to think that those words meant that somebody  had just died  and  this  is  how they died...  they died of   “Congestive Heart Failure”  …. but learned today that those words actually mean… just  another disease  that can be treated… and… since it is this  disease  that  Philip has…. I am pleased to also discover it is very  treatable.... which my primary doctor and heart doctor have discussed together and they came up with a plan… I shall call it Plan A… knowing full well how plans change and by morning we may have moved along to  Plan B…   🙂

Part of Plan A was the removal of all the  water  that had built up in my system over the past 7 days… that has been  accomplished…  and medication for  blood pressure  has been changed and also a  new medication  added to help keep all this under control… it is a monitored balancing act … that Ellen has completely understood..  (she is amazing)  she has  learned all the details  of how the heart works…so…anyone interested in details  will have to talk to her…  🙂

My job is to make sure I take all the  correct  meds and  not ever use  a salt shaker again… I think I can handle that !!!    🙂

The last part of  Plan A  is that Philip will be  released tomorrow... unless something strange appears in the morning  blood-work... which is not expected.

Looking forward to writing tomorrow night from our Morrisville house!

🙂

My health issues over the past 7 days have caused a little change in my “Musings” plans… Ellen made an appointment for me for this morning to check me out about all my huffy/puffys – sleeplessness – pound a day weight gain – shortness of breath – etc.  This check-up resulted in Dr. Kiely sending us over to Copley Hospital and checking in once again.  Fortunately it is not another Cellulitis infection.

Major concern is the water buildup creating the weight gain and dangers to my heart.  So I am here getting my water eliminated… which hopefully will only take a couple of days.  Meanwhile I have had extensive blood tests and I am hooked up to several things dripping slowly into my veins…  🙂

I should have plenty of time to re-read   “Don’t Waste Your Sorrows”  over these next couple days   So I hope to start writing my reflections sometime on the ‘morrow.

Meanwhile… think about the old fella from time to time… maybe even throw up a few prayers to get Philip past this latest health issue…. and for the grace Ellen will need, yet once again, to get past this latest development….  Thanks….

🙂