Trauma…

I understood the “Trauma”  of the “Racism” that Sheila was writing about.  I understood the PTSD of the Vietnam Veteran I was trying to “Counsel” whose best buddy was walking up the jungle path right in front of him… when he caught a spring trap of bamboo shards right thru his chest.  All this poor guy could do was hold him, cry and watch him die.

What I did not know, were all the “traumas” that were so totally different, that we all suffer from and need healing from.  I had like this panorama of Phil Wolff experiences that rolled across my brain as I read thru all that Sheila was saying about trauma.

How about that little 6 year old German white boy growing up in an Irish Catholic neighborhood on the South Side of Chicago who moves into his new home just a week before the “Day of Infamy”… think about him at age 10 running up and down the street waving his little American Flag on VJ Day…. think about his response 65 years later as he realizes his guests at the B&B have no clue what VJ Day means… think about why he buys Ford’s now… I could take that one on forever… ya think maybe he has some “disorder” to be healed from?

How about his practically being “raised” by his racist grandfather… who played ball with him, took him to the “Cubs games” on the North Side, took him to see the “trains”… and who’s favorite subject was making sure Phil knew all about them blankety blank 4-letter word no good lazy useless good for nothing…. fill in any ugly word description for what we now refer to as African American.  

When you “know” this is wrong, you grow up feeling guilty about every little racist thing that crosses your mind… like the time this very large black man sped past me in his very big black Cadillac convertible with a great big black cigar in his mouth… I don’t even want to think of the words that crossed my mind… more guilt…  more unhealed trauma….

I have been asking the Lord to heal me of all the “stuff” that has been coming up.  I need to stop for a while…. a little emotional right now…

My hope is that, as I share these “stories” over these next days, maybe it will bring up some unhealed traumas for you.. where you can be healed and set free…

Talking about them is part of the healing process… it is working for me.

 

 

 

About philipthewolff

just ask me...
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