the yay/boo’s…

The yay/boo’s… like win/lose… like good/bad… like ugly/nasty ugly….  just another one of Philip’s word selections to describe  life happening  all around me… then, all I need, is for  someone to tell me  how all those boo’s, losses, bad’s and nasty uglies are happening because  God is mad at me… get your act together Wolff before He really  smashes you… you have  nothing to offer  anybody Wolff… you have  no life in you… straighten up and fly right… before it’s too late.  That’s when that spirit of despair  jumps all over you..

I had gotten there several times back about 20 years ago… here I was, after serving God with all my heart for 30 years, one morning, driving to work,  that  spirit of despair  brought along his buddy,  the  spirit of suicide  and I felt so useless to God I was ready to just drive right off the road and end it…. so glad I didn’t.

It was back all over me again in June of 1999… that story I’ve told many times… having my  pity party  with God while I was painting our picket fence… and God spoke… so loving… so gentle… pouring His  oil of joy  all over me and covering me with His  garment of praise… then He set that crown of beauty on my head… oh my…. what an experience…. despair has never come back.

Not when I had my heart  zapped  back into rhythm… not when my  sugar  went ballistic to 419… not when I was having to use a  wheelchair  to move around… not with any of the  3 cellulitis infections  putting me in the hospital… or my  ambulance trip  to Burlngton with the nosebleed… not thru the horror of our buyer  backing out  of our sale the night before our closing was to happen…  or the decision we recently made to just  shut down  what we have been doing the last 18 years…

And not 2 hours ago either,  when I jumped out of bed struggling to breathe…. oh… that foul spirit does  come swinging by  with all his lies and accusations… only it  doesn’t work  any more… so here I am writing away and telling anyone who wants to read this… just how that  beast is defeated  and can never get back in again…  because I  know how much God loves me… and you.


About philipthewolff

just ask me...
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