This is where I left off yesterday… gonna try to tackle some more of the story … just been emotional for the old fella… He said: “I want you to be the first one on every battlefield and the last one to leave… I want you to lead every charge…” “What? What battlefield? What charge? What are you talking about Lord?”
When I was approaching my 80th birthday, watching my health deteriorating pretty rapidly, I found myself writing to friends and saying this: “I always had asked Him if I could be His Caleb…. but right now It doesn’t look like I will be leading any charges up any hills at 85!!!!” The reference was to this scripture below…. and until the other night, I had just been waiting for the Lord to touch me and bring me back to some semblance of my former health.
10“Now behold, the LORD has let me live, just as He spoke, these forty-five years, from the time that the LORD spoke this word to Moses, when Israel walked in the wilderness; and now behold, I am eighty-five years old today. 11“I am still as strong today as I was in the day Moses sent me; as my strength was then, so my strength is now, for war and for going out and coming in. 12“Now then, give me this hill country about which the LORD spoke on that day, for you heard on that day that Anakim were there, with great fortified cities; perhaps the LORD will be with me, and I will drive them out as the LORD has spoken.”
So…. once again… I started to go over all this with the Lord and explain to Him what had to happen if He really wanted me to be the first one on every battlefield… leading charges… or any of that kind of stuff…. I had no strength to do anything even remotely resembling something like that… He responded: “Have I been with you all this time, Philip, and still you do not know me?” oooops… that is one of His favorite verses that he has quoted to me almost too often… I could hardly wait for what He would say next…. didn’t have to wait very long.
” I am not waiting for you to become strong, Philip… I am waiting for you to become weak… to see that your weakness is what I am looking for… not your strength… for my strength is released in your weakness… I can do nothing when you are operating in your own strength.”
That brought me to my…. “Oh… my…” and began quite a time together…