…and the nite did go very very slowly…. no sleep again yet one more time… hoping for a breakthrough tonight…. I feel mostly like I’m just plain old tired! 🙂
Was very excited yesterday, when Ellen came back from the Lake Cottage with my 40 year old copy of “Don’t Waste Your Sorrows”. The timing for this is pretty good what with all that is happening and all that is not happening right now. If I can wake up enough tomorrow to focus, I may just get started… I expect to discover a whole bunch of neat things. When I first read this book I was a totally different person than I am today.
40 years is a long time … with thousands more of experiences with the Lord where He has changed me year after year after year… I went thru this kind of thing when Bodie re-introduced me to T. Austin Sparks... one of my “Deeper Life” authors… way back in the beginning of the bookstore.. Sparks was part of the reason we incorporated a 501c3 non-profit as Deeper Life, Inc. Then Bodie helped me get rid of those old religious glasses I always wore… and I looked at the same words… words I had been so totally excited about back in 1969… and they meant something completely different today…. and next year…. and….
I said a little about the book the other day… on July 8th… so… this is going to be fun talking about the differences between then and now as I work my way thru the book…. Hope you will enjoy taking this little journey with me… as I walk back thru the last 40 years…
Slowly…. slowly…. slowly…. slowly seems to be His operating word…. all the time…. every day… “be still and know… take no thought for tomorrow…one day is like a thousand years… enter into my rest...” ok…ok… I get it… I get it… How come is it then… that Philip is always in such a hurry for things to happen…? That’s a rhetorical question. If you didn’t know that… and you are reading this now thinking it was a real question… I would suggest back tracking thru some of the other 4,698 Musings here…. 🙂
He is in charge… and… He is never ever in a hurry.
Nothing further is happening on the sale of the house... health remains the same… one moment I think He is healing me… the next moment thinking if I call Dr.Kiely about not being able to breathe, that he’ll put me back in the hospital… and yet another moment thinking He is on His way to collect me !!! 🙂
I did lay down on the couch after lunch today, put my feet up and totally slept for 2 hours…. my first actual sleep in the past 4 days. Wonder what is going to happen when I go upstairs to bed in about an hour….? hmmmmm…
We shall see….. said the blind man… whatever it is that happens… most likely… it will happen…. slowly….
This week will be our last “busy week” for the B&B… when next weekend is gone… there will be only 28 days left till shutdown… and only 8 of those days will Philip need to get up to cook some breakfasts… !!!!
My personal yo/yo yay/boo health situation has caused me to wonder several times if I would be able to even handle the few breakfasts we have left. My huffy/puffys are really weird and continue to keep me in deep conversations with the Lord. Then last night… I thought for sure that the Lord had healed me… I was breathing like a normal person again…all night long…. this after 3 nights in a row with no sleep at all…
I put my feet up in the morning before taking my shower… and this wheezy thingy came all over me like a flood… I struggled to breathe just like most days. Managed to get thru serving the breakfast… then went up for my next feet up session … it was about as bad as it gets… again… more deep conversation with the Lord… more wondering what this one is all about.
Fortunately I have this incredible wife who encourages me and loves on me all the time… then a visit just before lunch from my buddy John Turner… more encouragement… then another friend Kenny, who also blogs, sent out his latest posting… ending with this:
“Today, focus on who Jesus is. Give thanks that only Jesus, who rescued us from sin and death, is able to give us true joy and fulfillment.”
This quickly reminded me of the 4,698 times I have talked about the imposters of winning/losing – triumph/tragedy – etc/etc…. then added … healed/not healed…
The spirit of discouragement that had been jumping all around me during the day… left… and I was full of His joy again.
I wonder how many times Philip has talked about how his natural man needs to be put thru the death process… how pride is the very essence of our humanity… that thing in me that would “be as God”.
So what happens? I get an email from my friend Bodie, forwarding a newsletter from a friend of his, who is talking about just finding a book at a neighborhood rummage sale… a book that he had first read 40 years ago…. he re-read it and had to write about it.
The book was titled “Don’t Waste Your Sorrows” by Paul Billheimer… a book that Philip had read when it was first published back in 1977… (hmmmm… that was 40 years ago)…. 🙂
This was a quote his friend took from the book… I’ve said before how much I enjoy finding people who agree with me… 🙂 I will be saying more in my next posting… 🙂
“Self-centeredness is the very essence of sin and misery and results in self-destruction. It is the core of hostility, and hostility is the…hallmark and essence of hell…In bringing the individual into the likeness of His Son, God must decentralize him.”
“Sometimes, to suffer failure is the only way one can be decentralized. Sometimes the suffering of adversity, catastrophic disaster, and utter loss is necessary to produce meekness, compassion, and selflessness…
No matter what size box I tried to fit God into (none of which ever did contain Him)… I still kept on trying for about 40 years … to find the right box… I mean… that is what my natural man is all about… if I can fit Him into my box then what the snake said in the Garden is true… I will be as God… knowing good and evil. Every box I ever put together made Philip right and the rest of Christianity wrong… Philip became the person who decided what was right and what was wrong. It was Philip’s box… it contained all the truth about how God works in people’s lives.
Our Father loves us… He is the onliest one who knows exactly how to reach me... and the onliest one who knows exactly how to reach all the others out there that He sent His Son to die for… each of God’s totally unique snowflakes… none of us the same… He reaches each of us differently. Of course… Philip knows exactly how God reached him… which Philip quickly translates into “this is the way God works with all of humanity”… NOT…!!!!!
He simply reveals Himself the way He knows will speak to each specific heart. Sorry that it took me so long to get to this point… (which is the beginning by the way – not the end)…. it never ends…
Anyway, this is the reason that Philip just “tell his stories”... they are stories about all the different ways that Father has revealed Himself to Philip… the stories about Philip’s experiences… Philip’s journey into more and more of Him…. no more boxes…
Ellen has been challenging this old fella to write about the positive things that are happening out there… not the negative things… sounds like good advice…. 🙂
So… I will basically leave the channeling thing alone…and not go after anything that is a part of that other spirit world … but…. with a very strong suggestion to stay away from all the different ways people dabble in that spirit world… there are many of them… any involvement in any way at all… really messes people’s lives up… big time.
Much better to simply walk with the Holy Spirit and follow His inspirations, guidance and directions… where we can discover more and more about our Father and His wonderful Son.. as well as Their eternal purpose and plan for our lives….
Often times that plan involves long periods of simply waiting on Him to act… waiting on Him to bring about the next step in the journey… to arrange the circumstances…and His perfect timing.
We are presently involved in one of those waiting periods… just enjoying each other, family and friends… as well as each next step in this exciting journey called… life...
Now that is certainly much more positive than Philip talking on and on about all the horrors that come from involvement with that other spirit world…
Philip is really not used to taking days off.… much less three in a row!!!! After the big birthday bash on 7/2… there was the actual birth-day 7/3… followed by everybody who was at Shadow Lake coming down to Morrisville to watch the big 4th of July Parade here… then every one of us heading back to Shadow Lake for a big cookout hosted by Ellen’s buddy Beverly and her husband Stewart from NH… Like I said… this lifestyle of enjoying family and friends is not normal for the Philipmeister…. 🙂
I would have loved to engage in some conversation about the stuff rattling thru my head about how God did not dictate the bible… how He did not take over the writer’s bodies/souls/spirits and do some kind of “automatic writing thingy” … but… that conversation never happened…. at least till now… I gotta say very simply that God gives each one of us free will and will never force us to do anything… much less put words in our mouths that we have no control over.
He inspires us… He speaks to our hearts… we experience Him… and in that process we learn to hear His voice… but Philip is still Philip… exactly where Philip is today… where Philip is today on his journey into God… growing and learning and changing every day… I’ve talked about all this before…. but… let me throw another word out there that God never, never, ever does… do you know this word…? it is “channeling”… and this is what it means.
“The practice of channeling — a person’s body being taken over by a spirit for the purpose of communication — has been around for millennia. There are countless stories of shamen, witch doctors, prophets and others who claim to hear voices or receive some supernatural knowledge from the spirit world. Channelers, also sometimes known as psychic mediums, often use what are called “spirit guides,” friendly spirits who give them knowledge and help them on their spiritual journeys.”
Somehow…. I don’t think I am finished talking about this… quite yet….